Pierre Gauthier's Off-Season To-Do List
Well the Off-Season is almost over with the rookies getting underway today....and Pierre Gauthier did a lot....kind of. While his moves were mostly low-key, he planned to do a hell of a lot!
I know this because I broke into his office and took his To-Do list. Kind of like how I found his Blackberry. (except this time I committed a felony)
The ones on the list he completed he filled in with black ink, the ones he didn't complete he left blank.
Pierre Gauthier’s Off-Season To-Do List
o Make sure Guy Boucher ends up with our coaching staff.
o Make sure Julien Brisebois stays with our front office.
• Make sure to remind cousin in Tampa Bay to put that flaming bag of dog shit on Yzerman’s front porch
• Let two hard working, undersized, over-aged forwards leave the team via free agency.
• Acquire one hard working, undersized, over-aged forward via free agency.
• Trade one of my goalies for a stable top 6 forward OR two forwards that will spark intense debate within the entire Montreal fanbase.
• Ensure that one of those forwards is good enough for fans to lamely reassure themselves that the trade was worth it.
• Trade away headache Sergei Kostitsyn to a weak market team
o Sign Dan Ellis, I have a good feeling about that guy. Seems like he can handle fan pressure well, also his twitter account is the balls.
• Let Marc Andre Bergeron walk, put robot puck shooter/pylon on ice instead.
o Trade slow developing defenseman Matt Carle in return for slow developing defenseman.
o Trade Slow developing forward Benjamin Maxwell in return for slow developing forward.
• Copyright the term “Pull a D’Agostini”
o Find a way to apply the Georges Laraque ‘Tek Savvy’ Ads to his real life contrac….I mean contract.
• Continue to secretly fund Guillaume Latendresse’s hypnosis http://tinyurl.com/32f98mj . It’s the only way he believes he’s a good hockey player.
o Name Josh Gorges Captain
o Name Brian Gionta Captain
o Name Andrei Markov Captain
o Name Mike Cammalleri Captain
• Let internet fan polls determine captaincy
o Look into that Habs Laughs fellow. How does he keep taking my shit?
Some good news to report!
I was contacted by the host of Game Points, a show on the Team 990 radio station in Montreal. I'll be on the show doing a weekly segment called the 'Tweet Ten List'. It's basically a Letterman style top ten list. Debut segment is on Tomorrow night (Tuesday) at 11:25 PM!